cordeliaflyte:

My deepest darkest fantasy is that I collapse on the street and I am rushed to the hospital. They perform a bunch of tests and find out I am severely deficient in some kind of vitamin. Then I start taking the vitamin and I become the happiest cleverest person alive because all my problems were caused by this one deficiency

(via infernal-violinist)

headspace-hotel:

slitherpunk:

i for one am not impressed when a company says some shit like “we will be carbon neutral by 2050” that is a long time from now and it is 80 degrees in october

We should make them carbon negative by sealing them into the Earth.

(via infernal-violinist)

sovietnam:

(via crabbarts)

rip-gloss:

haters will hate me for my dislikable qualities

(via waterandsilver)

nflstreet:

(Source: twitter.com, via evilwizard)

angelslant:

when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack

(via waterandsilver)

neon-draws-sometimes:

riippuliitaja:

Mitä cybershop yrittää kertoo

basilthymee:

im like the guy in the infomercials they depict in black and white doing everything inefficiently and having a thousand tupperware containers fall on me when i open the cupboard

(via infernal-violinist)

egglands-worst:

i think my dad came up with just about The Funniest reply to a meme i sent him

(via evilwizard)

odetoretribution:

curioscurio:

jonsibn:

take it.

THIS IS A FREE DOWNLOADABLE PDF OF THE BOOK BTW you don’t have to pay for it!!

since the link about is fucking dead, i took the liberty to provide a better one. You’ll need to copy and paste the passphrase, though >> kitten-mutual-refinance

(via thebeefboy)

mostly-funnytwittertweets:

(via evilwizard)

orange-catsidy:

cuteness–overload:

wife-leaver:

full-metal-furies:

wife-leaver:

guys I think everything is going to be okay

omg yes i thinkso too!!!

sonseulsoleil:

People with sensory issues, I’m curious, which is worse for you?

Too Loud

Too Bright

Too Much Texture (clothes/fabrics)

Too Much Texture (food/drink)

Too Many Smells

Other/Explain in Tags

It’s definitely sound for me. As always reblog for a bigger sample size please!

(via waterandsilver)

b0tster:

dragon-small:

royalhandmaidens:

people new to tumblr angry about being blocked or writing huge paragraphs about why they chose to block someone like i promise you it’s not that deep i once blocked someone because their blog was obnoxiously orange and i hate the color orange

(via thebeefboy)